When I first came out as a transgender woman I told everyone. Most of my family and close friends knew already, but I blanketed my social circle just the same. All my coworkers, all my friends, long lost acquaintances and colleagues from jobs of yesteryear on LinkedIn.
Naturally, all my transgender friends had known for a while. It's almost a given that you'll be outed when you meet the friend of another transwoman. It's a story for another time, but trans women love to talk about trans stuff. Even if that subject never came up, it's easy for the new introductee to do the math. Tall girl, friends with my trans friend - lets look for other signs. And they're always there. Hands a bit larger, voice not quite perfect - there's something.
Given how thoroughly I came out, it's still a rare experience when I meet friends of friends who know nothing of my history. And I'll admit, it's a somewhat daunting challenge. It's one thing to pass in the brief collisions through daily life, quite another to do so over a meal.
I'm spending the next two weeks in California with some friends. They know all about my transition, but every other night I get to meet the new friends they made since moving to Cali - over dinner, at a party, in other close contact social situations.
While I'm looking forward to meeting new people, I've already decided that I won't talk about my past. I'm not trying to fool anyone, just live my life and meet some great folks. I'm eager to move as quickly as I can from circumstances beyond my control and take my place in the concert of womanhood.
How have you handled similar situations? What was your best or worst experience?