Friday, October 14, 2011

Am I Transsexual?

To my dear readers,

In a few short days I'll be undergoing gender reassignment surgery - the key to unlocking the rest of my life. A blessed beginning that I'm eager to embrace. Since in all likelihood I'll be able to focus on little other than recovery for a while, I thought this was an opportune time to post some material I've previously written. While I first published these articles on Crossdresser Heaven, I felt that they are more appropriate on Transgender Heaven, since they deal explicitly with the transsexual experience and may be helpful for those of you who haven't followed my journey up until now.

For those who have been following me, I pray that a re-reading will provide you with new insights. To those who I'm sharing this with for the first time I pray that my story is a blessing to you.

Am I Transsexual - Starting Therapy

Transsexual Therapy
Even though I’ve been walking this path all my life I finally feel as though I’ve started my journey to womanhood. As many of you may know I recently began my transgender therapy. My aim is to validate that transitioning is right for me, and to find a partner who will assist me in the next steps along the journey (hormone therapy, going full time, and eventually the necessary surgical changes).

The beginning of therapy itself was a moment that my life took an irreversible turn – I was going to deal with my gender dysphoria one way or another. I had spent many years running from myself, exploring who I was, learning about the transgender community, discovering my feelings and testing my true nature.

After many years I have been able to overcome the shame I felt at being transgendered and the fear I felt at being myself out in the world. It’s these many years of learning, experience and testing that lead me to therapy almost completely certain that the next stanza in my life needs to be sung in soprano. Yet I know that I must temper my certainty with skepticism and allow my therapist to ask me the hard questions. I must seek new insights and self discovery. For if I don’t my experience through therapy will be poorer, and I would have missed a beautiful opportunity to validate myself.

For myself I find that sharing my experience in words with you lovely ladies is healing. The process of expressing my emotions, and the wonderful comments and insights you share have made my life richer up until now. I would be remiss if I didn’t share my rebirth as a woman with you as well. In advance I thank you for your gracious ear, your wise counsel and your continued readership.

Over the next few weeks I’ll share a new series I call “Am I Transsexual?”, where I seek to answer that question with more completeness and certainty than I’ve been able up until now. You’ll hear my journey, see my changes and get to join me on my experience into my true self.

Before I begin I want to offer a disclaimer. This is my story, my journey. Everyone’s life song is unique and beautiful. There may be aspects of what I share that resonate with you and others you can’t relate to. This is not meant to be a map for navigating your transgender experience – as similar as we are, we are still different, and I highly encourage you to travel your journey along with a licensed professional. If any of this is helpful please let me know – your comments are a true blessing to me.


  1. I hope the surgery has gone well and may many blessings be yours Girl. Saw my Girl through her surgery last year so have some uderstanding of where you're at. My turn when finances permit. Hugs.

  2. Thanks Julie, so far it's gone well. I'm in the third day of recovery, I've noticed quite a bit of improvement, but later today I get to test it out by walking for the first time :)

  3. Dearest Vanessa, Why dont u post ur photografs of development,step by step,so others like u who wants to follow ur steps can understand about actual journy u have travelled,hope 4 earliest action.

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